Friday 1 February 2013

Harmonious writing

I like to write. That much is obvious. Any anyone else who likes to dabble, be it poetry, an essay, a bit of a story, or just mindless day dreaming, everyone has their own mental stimulation routine (no rude jokes please!).

Some people like to wait for the creative mood to take them. A Bohemian choice, and you could find yourself waiting forever.

Some people approach it like a military exercise, and POWER THROUGH! Scary.

Some people even write on the toilet (you know who you are). Anywhere, any time. Literally.

My method uses a patented blend of highly acidic and chemically mind altering additives, that combine in a cocktail of e-numbers and caffeine stimulants to create a superior state of writing prowess.

Otherwise known as diet coke straight to the veins, and a mouth full of skittles.

                                                  

Sometimes, if there is a deadline to meet, I have been known to step this regime up a notch, and introduce cold pizza and hard core red bull.

Face to computer screen, ready, steady, let’s GO! Sugar rush!

The fear

You write something, craft it, mould it over years. You devote every spare minute to it. At times your mind seems to be infected by it, every thought revolving around it. Until, at last, your very soul fuses with it.
And then it's done. Your masterpiece. Your baby. Finished.
You might sit back and simply behold it, basking in its shiny radiance.

Really, you should leave it there.

But vanity is a powerful motivator. First it's your friend that asks quietly if they can read it. Then, their friend, and theirs. God forbid, maybe even your mother wants to read it.

And suddenly, you find that your shiny, beautiful masterpiece is in the hands of several strangers all at once, and they all promise to give you detailed, honest feedback.

Dear God. Honest. Feedback.

The two most terrifying words in the writer's vocabulary.

These characters that you have created, blossoming over the pages, infused with parts of yourself. They suddenly become targets. And that marvellous twist you thought you were so clever to lace in, predictable? And heaven help you if you put a joke in there too!

Suffice to say, the editing process is a terrifying ordeal of monumental magnitude, which can only compare to the first school parents evening for your budding prodigy.

Now, a rational writer will think to themselves that this is a self-improvement exercise. They will relish in making all of those little tweaks. The volatile writer will suppress their fury at receiving criticism. Because how dare they? and what would they know? and can they not see my latent genius?!?

Most writers, however, will bite down on their trembling nails, and wait for the blow to fall....